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He said, “Not bad. See if you can beat me in an arm wrestle.”My bird was dead embarrassed.I said, “No way, Mr McGann. I’ve no chance.”He was a lot bigger than me. He said if I wanted to I could cheat by lifting my arse off the chair and putting all my weight behind me. So we did it like that but I still only lasted for two seconds. He gave me a friendly punch, said I was a rum lad.Anyway, things got really weird the third time we met. I’d gone round to see my bird but she wasn’t in. Mr McGann said, “She’s gone out with her Mum but come in, lad. We can have a man-to-man chat.”There was no way I could say, “Fuck off, Mr McGann – you bore the shit out of me.” So I went in.He opened a can of lager, gave it to me, opened one for himself. We chatted away about all things macho. Then from out of the blue he absolutely shocked me.“You ever had a dick fight, lad?”I thought I heard him wrong.“What?”“A dick fight. You want one?”“A…a dick fight?”“Yeah. Fancy having one?”“A dick fight?”“You. I took Jill up to the mountain top. Showed her all the things she could have with me. A second act, a new and exciting life and relationship to add to the wonderful twenty years she’d had with you. And you know what, she turned me down. Turned me down for more of the same. For twenty more years with you, Dave.”By now he was totally crestfallen. Again looking down into his glass. Reliving the hell of trying his best and being rejected. Being rejected in favor of someone he considered his inferior.He looked up again, glass raised again, but this time with weary and defeated resignation. Only the faintest of life flickering around the corners of his mouth. “And you know, Dave, the only thing that keeps me going is that these last few weeks I’ve done a whole host of thinking. A lot of soul-searching. Decided I’m going to fix things. Either get back with Kat. See if she’ll have me back. Or if not, find someone like Jill. Have what you and Jill have.”Our eyes were locked together. And for.
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